I’m a pretty reasonable guy. I work hard, try to keep things going smoothly, create cool stuff, raise a family, and try to enjoy life.

But a recent encounter with my (former) insurance company, Guide One Insurance, is enough to make me go all crazy-n-stuff. This isn’t like me — I’m one of the more laid-back types you’ll ever see, but in the words of Judge Judy, “don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.”

I’ve churned through several insurance companies over the years, and they all seem to offer the same options:

  • Get a great sales pitch from an “agent” who pulls a credit report for no valid reason (as if it has anything to do with your driving skills or home value?)
  • Sign up for their product, start paying exhorbitant premiums
  • Get passed to the “corporate office” who then takes over all aspects of your account, mails you bills and propaganda once in awhile (by postal mail, because email is way too newfangled), handles all your claims and interactions on their toll-free 800 number, and then punishes you if you actually have a “claims experience” with them
  • Have some sort of contact with your agent early in the sales process, only to never hear from him/her again (some agents still send out a Christmas card or annual calendar, but that doesn’t count, because they’re probably done by the Corporate Office anyway)
  • Agent makes money from your business, but never contacts you for anything proactively — if you call him/her, you get transferred to someone else (possibly on the toll-free 800 number). Note: if you need to buy more insurance, however, the agent may reappear — but otherwise the agent flies the coop while collecting fat commission checks from the “corporate office.”

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